It’s true that chaos causes confusion, and confusion provokes question. It is also true that questions birth awakenings.
How do I know? Because mine happened amongst the most chaotic time of my life. I asked god if death was an option. In the midst of heart break, depression and anxiety forced its way in and took shelter in the crevices of my wounds and left them open for months. They became infected, all I new was depression, hate, anger and panic.
In the midst of this I begin to question everything. Literally screamed at god and the universe. I didn’t understand why I was going through as much as I was. I played the victim. Slowly I started to realize my actions lead me to this place of disparity. I began to take responsibility for not only myself but everything. Including the way I think and perceive life and god. I realized I lacked self love. I spent so much time trying to love an invisible man in the sky but I didn’t love me. Then I realized if I start with me I’ll find god. I did I found god in me, I found love in me, I found happiness in me. I’ve never looked back.